There Is Life Beyond The Rubble!

Yesterday Is History, Today Is A Fresh Gift- The Present!

2012-02-09T05:10:00.004-04:00

I think that it is fair to say that for most of our life, we find ourselves walking through many different types of stress pools that seem to cause our lives to be anything but cheerful. A lot of times, when this stress is left to continue to live and festure, mentally and physically we get worn down with nights filled with tears and sleeplessness. As a result, often some form of sickness finds ialso finds its way into our lives just to add one more challenge to cope with, making life a continual up hill drudgery. Not knowing where to turn or what to do, we try to make the best of the hand we have been delt and try to sort out from where or whom those stresses are coming. Life is meant to be enjoyed not feared and stress can be overcome.
We seldom can concretely identify those situations and people we find stressful. To understand what brings on stress in your life, try to maintain a heightened awareness of your physical and mental feelings as you move through your days. When you feel your heart racing, your muscles tightening, or your stomach turning into a not, ask yourself why. Keep a list of those things and or personalities that trigger thhose stressful feelings and work to move them aside. The medical community agrees that stress is one of the major silent killers today. When you lay aside and move beyond your stress causes, then your mind and body will jump for joy and you will begin to feel like singing again and those long nights will be filled again with restful sleeps. Isn't it time for all of us to start and enjoy life again? I know it is, because life is too short already and there are many special daily blessings to be enjoyed.

When Served A Flood Of Lemons, Make Lemonade!

2012-02-08T04:27:00.005-04:00

I stumbled upon and read an interesting article(author: Annonomus) today entitled " Living beyond the past" and it suggested that there are those who love to cling onto many of the negative happenings in their past and thus become imprisoned and sadly very bitter. The article went on to say that if one allows bitterness to go unchecked, that it will reach out like a poison with the goal to destroy that which is good... and undeserving. The article concluded with this quote "Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all, because the heart and mind is never new, never fresh, never truly loving." Sometimes the circumstances we have to face do weigh heavy on our hearts and minds giving birth to all kinds of emotions. Some of those feelings can if not let go, turn into rivers of frustration and anger and to bad for those around us who just might happen to be on the receiving end of that emotional blast. Remember, those ugly bitter unchecked emotions have one primary goal and that is to lash out and bring hurt. We can't always control all the garbage that happens to come our way but one thing we can do, Control How We React To It! You can either let it win over you and take you down with it, or claim your ground and refuse to Let it consume you! The Best advice for all of us is, to always strive to be a person who strives to build one another up and encourage where possible and avoid bitterness at all cost in order not to be known as one who looks for an opportunity to tear another innocent person down. Remember, a champion is not known for how he/she is knocked down but rather how he gets up!

It's Time To Go Shopping!

2012-02-07T04:22:00.003-04:00

Every once and a while I have a chance to go over to a portion of the Saint John River, known as the Famous Reversing Falls Rapids. I love to go there because if you close your eyes and just listen to the various sounds that make up the surroundings, you will soon learn that the most powerful sound in the air is the clashing and tumbling of the waters below. As you watch you can notice the power that the rushing of waters have as to apposing currants clash causing a swamping of anything that might be floating by unaware. Sometimes one can feel as if you are being sucked in by the tides of life, tossed and battered wondering where your life will end up. It can be a helpless and frustrating feeling when you are being tossed about from every side by forces that not only do not know or understand who you are or the journey you have been on. Is this where you are today or maybe you know someone who is facing those same feelings of being overwhelmed from the negative stresses around them. One of the best ways to handle stress is to move yourself away from those stresses that are wanting to have first place in your thoughts and everyday coming and goings. One of the best stress relievers that one can do and enjoy is to head out and have a good shop in a near by mall where you can get lost in the crowd and allow your mind to focus for a time on something fresh and new. Just remember that those in the malls and those living their life around you are also living through their own stresses or maybe another storm for them is coming. You will never have a life where there won't be some kind of stress issue to deal with, however, stress does not ever have the right to hold its mastery over you. When you learn the art of looking beyond your storm, it makes the journey that much more barable and easier to rise above.

CONTENTMENT IS CLOSER THAN YOU THINK!

2012-01-31T06:15:00.006-04:00

I DON'T THINK THERE IS ANYTHING MUCH NICER TO ENJOY THAN TO FIND YOURSELF STROLLING ALONG A QUIET NATURE PATH THAT OVERLOOKS THE OCEAN AND BEING SURROUNDED BY THE MANY SIGHTS, SMELLS AND SOUNDS THAT SEEM TO REACH OUT TO YOU ASKING ONLY TO BE NOTICED. WITH ALL THE STRESSES THAT SEEM AT TIMES TO ATTACK FROM ALL SIDES, THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE SAID ABOUT FINDING THAT VEIN OF SOLITUDE WHERE YOU CAN STOP AND TAKE THAT BIG BREATH AND JUST BE YOURSELF TO ENJOY THE PERSON OR PERSONS YOU HOLD DEAR. WHEN YOU REMOVE THE STRESSES THAT SEEM TO PRESS IN EVERYDAY TRYING TO HAVE POWER OVER YOU AND YOUR EMOTIONS, THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL YOU BEGIN TO HEAL INSIDE AND START TO ENJOY THOSE MANY SPECIAL BLESSINGS THAT ARE ALL AROUND YOU. STRESS IS THE SILENT KILLER THAT EFFECTS YOUR HEALTH IN SO MANY WAYS AND AT SO MANY LEVELS. IF YOU WANT THAT CONTENTMENT AGAIN IN LIFE AND IN WHO YOU ARE AND THAT YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY, THEN MAKE YOUR STAND AND NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO ANYONE OR ANY STRESSFUL SITUATION TO HAVE POWER OVER YOU NOR A PLACE IN YOUR DAY, LIFE AND ACTIVITIES, IT HAS NO PLACE OR RIGHT TO BE. CONTENTMENT IS CLOSER THAN YOU THINK. IT IS FOUND IN RE-CLAIMING YOUR IDENTITY OF WORTH AND THAT YOU ARE A SOMEBODY TO BE RESPECTED AND HAVE MUCH TO OFFER TO THOSE AROUND YOU. BELIEVE IT, CLAIM IT AND LIVE IT!

Soaring Above The Mud Slingers!

2012-01-23T00:49:00.008-04:00

Have you ever stopped to watch an eagle glide through the air? They know just how and when to pick up the right air currant and with a slight movement of those powerful graceful wings, they bank and soar higher into the waiting sky above. There is no better feeling for the eagle than to know that it is high enough and safe from the predators below. Even in life, there are those who act like a weakness predator who seem to thrive on digging into the healing wounds of others to feed their own ego and keep alive the gossip pools of hear says, assumptions and character slamming. These predator mindsets do not concern themselves with the truths of a situation or the real reasons why certain happenings took place. They hide their own private skeletons and insecurities behind a mask of emotional bullying of others, secretly hoping that the glass houses they live in won't soon crumble and crash all around them exposing them for the people they really are. Sooner or later they do and mighty is the crash and they are left standing alone, relationally abandoned, receiving back in some form what they so thoughtlessly and sarcastly gave to others.
There is a saying that " the wheels of justice turn exceedingly slow, but fine" (author unknown). Those who pride themselves on throwing mud at others will eventually learn the truth of that profetical proverb. If you are reading this and have gone or are going through a divorce, you soon learn that your world becomes filled with finger pointers, character slammers and an abundant number of gossip lines. Sadly, the biggest offenders at times comes from within the immediate or extended families. They make all their judgements and assumptions based on what they think they know to be the truth without really knowing the emotional states and what is said and done behind the closed doors of any particular home. They don't want to think about or face the realities that they themselves could possibility find themselves on a road they might not believe in or think that they could ever be on, resulting in a similar relational end. Maybe you have been on the receiving end of a lot of family garbage from friends and family members who think they know your situation and all the facts that surround you. Just remember, those who want to make someone elses personal or family business their own and gossip like a magazine artical are small inconsiderate people who have much to learn about life and maturity.
The Eagle remember, knows how to ride the currants high above its prey and predators below, You are stronger than you might give yourself credit for. No one can emotionally hurt you unless you emotionally give them permission to do so. If you refuse to play the garbage games that people try to play, then you , like the eagle, will be able to stand taller, well above your critics, letting the past events to help steer you forward to a fresh and new beginning and not allowing those around you to be like an anchor to hold you back! There will always be those around you, friends and family who think that they are better and heads above the rest. Always remember the little childrens fable of Humpty Dumpty who love to place himself high upon the wall above the rest ... Pride always comes before the fall and for Humpty Dumpty, great was his fall, the crash was mighty and the pieces were many! Always try to keep a positive outlook on life no matter what the road has been that you have had to walk and remember you are a person of value, a person that is loved. Your Journey is your own and regardless what others might say, Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a Mystery and Today is a Gift because it is the Present!

Finding That Little Faithful Companion!

2012-01-17T05:08:00.010-04:00

If you have never had the pleasure of owning a cat or a puppy, you need to know that you are missing out on some of the most special times that can help brighten a frustrating day or a lonely evening. I have to say that my wife and I have two of the most special little four leggers (cat and puppy) who just by being in our home fill it with fun , love , cuddles and faithful companionship. Following a divorce, and many of you might agree , that a lot of time is spent being alone watching television, following through on your little hobbies and like fondling through a stack of puzzle pieces you spend a lot of alone time grappling with the issues that have brought such a drastic change in your life and what might be the new challenges to be faced as the hands of time unfold as each new day passes. Little four legger companions have a way of filling those little empty voids that keep wanting to give rise and even when you find those sneaky tears wanting to swell up and overflow, you can always count on you little pets to give you that needed cuddle of closeness as there way of saying that everything will be alright because we will always be right beside you, lick lick! Animals can be a chore to watch and care for sometimes but in the end they always find a way of becoming a cherrished part of your everyday coming and goings. We love our pets so much and they have become a faithful companions that love us just as we are with no conditions or put downs, companions that will always give what they have, that the world needs more us, Faithfulness! You owe it to yourself to find that special little companion that will not only fill your home where you are with love but will help you along your long journey of divorce adjustments and life changes. They will always and though at times be under your feet but will always be by your side ready to cuddle up next to you on the couch or bed and ready to lick you face in the morning saying let's face another day together. I hope you have found this little blog helpful in filling those little or many lonley times.

LIVING BEYOND YOUR CHILDREN!

2012-01-15T01:45:00.017-04:00

I think it is fair to say that for most of the life of a parent, child raising is the one life's vocations that not only can be the most rewarding but also the most frustrating and draining. From the first moments that a family hears that a new life bundle is growing to soon, when its time is ready, become a new physical presence into the home. Hours are spent in house preparations, baby showers, Dr. appointments and pre-natal classes of one form or another. Hours are also spent going to different stores shopping looking at baby clothes, diapers, cribs, car seats and the lists go on and on. Does all of this, bring back some memories for you? Every day until that day when the little bundle arrives are filled with new bodily changes for the mother, husbands wrestle with the thought of being not only a father but a dad. New family directions might have to be considered and anticipations as to what might be and what, depending on the gender of the little one would be the best name to call this new bundle of joy and wonder when it arrives. Then for the next eighteen plus years, parents give all they are into the raising of their children, working tirelessly to help their children have a chance to be healthy, clothed and hopefully enjoy some of the simple fun pleasures that are around them. The danger with this saturation in your children during their critical developmental stages is that when the time comes, when they burst out from the home nest, one can feel empty and lost because you have basically lost sight of who you are and what made you the person you were before you had kids.

We now live in a very fast paced, self centered society where respect for teachers, bosses, police, personal property and sadly even parents etc. have been in many cases thrown aside to look after their own interests of selfishness without consideration of how a parent or grand parent or any other person might feel as long as their own interests come first above all. This is even amplified when a divorce happens within a family. Children need to grow up and realize that in this life, relationships do break down and parents do part ways as man and wife. What children, younger and older need to realize is that when a break up comes and yes hurt and disallusionment is part of that journey, that life goes on and that they still have their parents with them even though circumstances drove them a part. Instead of trying to work with what is and making the best of a different situation, some children seem to thrive on continuously trying to punish both parents or favor one parent over the other whether they understand what was or not. They act as if one parents or the other has some plague who needs to be avoided or left out of special moments in their life or families life. What they don't realize is that they too are not amuned from being at some point , having to walk on the road of a divorce. There is an old saying "he who stands in a glass house should never throw stones". Too many children of broken families miss many special moments after a split up because they walk and live with their blind ignorances instead of realizing and accepting what now is and allowing their family circle to expand to allow the changes that have now become realities. Whether one believes in it or not, divorce happens and that is a sad reality of life.

Divorce doesn't mean death but rather change, with that change being often for the best. If we realize that some people especially children of divorced parents still have a lot of growing up to do and who may one day wake up to see and enjoy the new realities of what is , then we can look beyond our children's narrowness and insecurities to find our own identity again and enjoy life as the adults we were meant to be. We can look and live beyond our children because our identity and self worth is not based on our children, our job or how much money have or don't have but rather in that we have been created and that we exist and are loved and filled with potential to be anything we set our minds to to be.

A TRUE FRIEND STANDS WITH YOU WHEN THE WORLD TURNS AWAY!

2011-10-12T03:37:00.008-03:00

Have you ever sat on a bench in a busy park or within a busy mall and simply and quietly watched the people moving around you or sitting in a busy food court? I like to do this often because you can learn a lot about people, relationships, togetherness and lonliness. Most people that I have observed over the last number of years in a variety of venues have led me to draw the conclusion that it is easy to feel alone and be alone while the world around you seems to race on by! I think if we are honest with ourselves, most of us at one time or another have felt very much alone within the midst of a large crowd or social event. We do live in the midst of a world that is filled with social clicks and devisions where you are either in or you are out! The sad thing is, is that it begins in the earliest of our years. We might not dress like the others or live within the same social class as someone else or even live in the best neighbourhood or have a job that is as high profile as someone else. The real tragedy of these examples is that this list of devisions between people stretches like an endless road reaching into the farthest horizon. It is to me amazing that there are times when you can walk down a busy street or through a shopping mall filled with conversations and laughter and not see anyone you know. So you move through these life mazes alone, as if invisible as if you didn't exist! It is like your life dosen't matter or have any real purpose. Then you leave and no one seems to notice. It is a real challenge to see your self worth and believe in yourself when the world around you seems to be waiting for you to fail and when you go through a tough time in your life, those whom you thought were your friends are no longer wanting to be around you or include you anymore in what they do. It hurts and you almost feel like throwing in the towel and finding that isolated safe place where you can hide your head in self pity and shut the world away. Have you been there before? Are you there now? A true friend sticks with you in every situation of life. They accept you for who you are, their friend and stand by you regardless of what is happening around you regardless of what others might think about you or saying about you. Those types of friends are scarce like a fine diamond and when you know you have a friend like that, cherrish him or her like your very own breath. Do fun things together, share your feelings with each other. Don't let the friendship get lost within the business of life and then you can hold your head high, moving through the sea of lifeless faces knowing that you are a priceless jewel of worth , someone worth getting to know! You are a person of great worth and potential and you can do whatever you set your hand to do because you truly do have someone who loves you just because you are you!

A New Found Freedom!

2009-05-18T07:11:00.004-03:00

Every once and a while, people wish they could lay out their life dreams on a big floor and simply pick the one they want to enjoy for that moment. Well, reality says that for most of us, we never really get that chance to do or be what we alswys dreamed to me because something always seems to get in the way. For some, those barriers come from family members around us who only can see the negatives about something and shout out from their reactions and small comments that hurt "Failure" or "you will never be able to do that"! How do they know. This writer believes that no effort should ever be seen as failure but rather Succes because "YOU TRIED! Failure is never trying, because if you don't try, you will never know and your road is yours and that is how successes are found and enjoyed. Don't let people steel your dreams and when you find that new self confidence that new sense of purpose, you can become what you have always wanted to be. Life does land some serious blows sometimes and it is hard to get up and brush the dust off . You see the greatness of a person is not so much measured on how he was or is knocked down but rather how he or she gets up! Divorce does knock you down and that is no lie and everyone loses to some degree. Yes, i know you would agree that there are gaines and losses and at time more hurtful things said and done that should ever have happened. Lifes reality is that hurtful and painful things do happen and are said but that does not mean that you can't rise above it. Remember, there is really only one main thing you can control and that is how you will react to what happens around you. You an either let that person wear you down or a situation break your spirit, or you can face it with confidence and be like that little engine that could and say as you climb another hill " I KNOW I CAN' I KNOW I CAN"!

I think you would agree, that family, co-workers, finances, friends, and even time, can play a major role in deflating our dreams. Once you decide to take control of your life and direction, there will be nothing you can't rise above and then like the eagles that ride the currants of the wind, you will truly be free to be all that you want to be and enjoy all that life has for you. If this little is a help to you, fell free to encourage your friends and family members to come and enjoy the articles in this blog.

Is There Life After Divorce?

2009-05-02T20:57:00.000-03:00

Every one who has traveled the road of Divorce will always tell you that it was one of the most emotionally and physically draining times of their lives. This writer can attest to this having had to walk this road himself just a few short years ago. When all the Divorce proceedings have been completed and now the Court settlements having to be fullfilled , one struggles to find an answer to the ongoing question" How am I going to make it? Is there really a life for me now as a divorced person"? As many can attest to, after divorce everything changes. You face changes in the way society views you, the way your neighbours see you, sometimes your friends abandon you and no longer call you. The atmosphere in your place of work often feels the strain you are going through and not sure what to do. Often after Divorce, you are forced to move having now limited resources and not only do the bills get behind, one struggles to maintain a place to live.
For many it is the first time in years that they are again, alone having to fend for themselves in a society that is out for all it can get from you. There is a saying that has circulated for many years and this writer feels it is so accurate, " laugh and the whole world laughs with you , cry and you cry alone". How many tears have been cried to echo through the quitness of the night? How many times for you have the flood gates fell? This writer has come to understand that it is alright to cry and in time is mightily needed. Never be ashamed to cry, never be ashamed to be caught crying. We all need to heal when marriages break down comes, especially when it has come to your relationship and homelife that you thought was secure but because of unthinkable circumstances has forced your relationship to end in Divorce! Doctors suggest that it is medically healthy to laugh and also to cry because both releave stress that has been called the "Silent Killer". Your body and mind can only take so much stress and when you allow your situation to over power you and the stress to emotionally make you it's prisoner, you allow itto have a place in your life that it does not deserve. It means, that you have given it permission to be more powerful than you are. This writer needs you to understand and grasp at least one lesson from this article. That is, "The Only Thing You Really Have Control Over, Is Whether Or Not You Are Going To Let That Someone or Someone Comments or Your Present Situation Get You Down, Beat You Up, Rob You Of Sleep, Make You Feel Like An Unproductive Nobody"!
When you look into the mirror each day, this writer wants you to see and believe that you are a somebody, a somebody that matters and that you own the day and you are going to make it a GREAT DAY! Everybody's Divorce road is different, and if you are reading this article and have been or are presently divorced, you know what is being said here. Things are tough for a while after a divorce and this writer is not suggesting that it is easy. This writer also understands the challenges when creditor's call wanting their cut of your small money pie and having to verbally admitt that you are where you are because of a Divorce! Just remember this, no matter how long your dark and bumpy tunnel may seem, or trust this writer, eventally the light will shine. You will make it, and be stronger through it and what you learn along the way may help you be a strength and bright light to someone else who finds themselves on a similar road as you have had to walk. There is Life After Divorce and this writer believes for you, it will be a great life filled with many surprises, maybe even a new love to fill that space that you long to have filled. This article leaves one more lesson. Yesterday is History, Tomorrow Is A Mystery, Today is a Gift Because It Is The Present"! Hold your head high for the best is yet to come!

What Happened To My Fairy Tale?

2009-05-01T23:55:00.000-03:00

Every child dreams of having a great childhood and then growing up to having a full and exciting adult life surrounded by people who love and support you. Many people look for that sucurity within friendships, social groups, the job place and for the majority within marriage.
Every girl dreams of growing up and finding their prince charming, falling in love, getting married and having children while building a happy home together. For the guy, finding that right girl that causes his world to go into a tale spin when they're together and empty when they are apart. That when he looks at your picture or thinks about you, bringing always a smile and good feeling desiring you to be his lifes partner and the mother of his children or simply to be his life's partner to walk through life with. What ever your life's picture is to be, how quickly that picture can crumble when your world is crumbling around you, the emptiness overwhelms you and you find yourself running down the lonely path of Divorce. Many struggle to hang on to the happy wedding day memories "Til Death Do Us Part", the laughters, friends and family who promised to always be there to help and support you! What happens when that fairy tale dream, happens to expload in you face and you are left standing in rubble for one reason or another. I'm sure, everyone at one point or another or many times, when facing divorce, asks themselves the question, "Will I Survive This"?
For many, it is the most loneliest journey one could take. when you hear that word, Divorce, life seems to change in an instant. Those who have been around you for so long and know you seem to then look at you as having the plague and pull away from you. You can begin to feel as if you are the center of every conversation and that every eye is suddenly upon you. If this is where you have been or there now, you may be understanding what I am talking about of just how lonely life can become when you find yourself living in the realm of a divorce! What you need to understand, is that your self worth is not based on what is happening around you, or how others see you. You are of great value because you have been given life to be you. You are the same great person you always were with skills to live life and be productive. The only difference is , is that your life's journey, has found a major valley in the road that you have had or are now having to walk through. In every dark cloud, there is a silver lining that says this storm will pass and you will stand in sunshine again. Life is filled with many ups and down and some very deep valleys.
I have been there and one thing I have learned is, "Keep Looking Up, Because That Is Where The Rainbows Are," I am , like you a person of great value and of great worth with much to offer. Don't let other's insecurities become a weight around your neck to keep you down . Always stand tall, hold your head high and know that this too shall pass and you will definately survive and you are Never alone. yes it is a rough and lonely road, but someone always comes along who becomes your new ray of sunshine and life again becomes new and exciting! Yes your life has changed but only now tyou hold the keys as to just how good this new life can be. Don't let the hard lessons of the past become an anchor to hold you back but let it become a rudder that always steers you forward to better things! Remember you are a person of worth and of Great value!